Rashida's Baby

[00:00:00] From ancient sea to the mountain is peaks, To twist a tale

[00:00:14] Meetings with kings at all tricks to scheme, To twist a tale

[00:00:21] Stories from old and lost memories I'm told, Singers of souls and midnight crossroads,

[00:00:28] Magical creatures of fortune they own To twist a tale

[00:00:39] Hello and welcome to another episode of To Twist A Tale, the show where we take a myth, legend or folk tale from across the various black cultures and

[00:00:47] remixed a little for new and fresh news. I am your host, Trevor Holcomb and let's begin.

[00:00:57] For today's Phenomenal Blackness

[00:01:01] Phenomenal Blackness

[00:01:08] Phenomenal

[00:01:10] Phenomenal Blackness

[00:01:13] Yes, sorry.

[00:01:14] For today's Phenomenal Blackness we have a 15 year old Nigerian student who beat out competitors in the US, the UK, China and others to win a global math competition.

[00:01:30] Something that I did not even know actually existed. I looked at clips on YouTube and it's basically, think of it as like a spelling bee.

[00:01:39] But instead of a word they give you the spell, they basically quick fire off math problems. And so she was adding, dividing, multiplying, finding square roots, finding all types of prime numbers and things from large numbers to small numbers and she beat out everyone.

[00:01:59] And she walked away with a thousand dollar prize. So shout out to her. She is in her final year as a high school student and she just comes from greatness.

[00:02:14] Mrs. Faith, father is a doctor and her mom's a business woman. So of course her parents are extremely proud of her.

[00:02:21] She even says that her budding mathematician gets her genes from her father.

[00:02:29] So if you want to check it out, you can find some clips on YouTube. You can Google her name. Faith Odusi. It's faith O-D-U-N-S-I.

[00:02:41] And if you just type in basically 15 year old Nigerian student who beats people in math, you'll find her. Believe me.

[00:02:50] And that's it.

[00:02:58] Alright, well before we start our twisted tell for today, just to give you a little background.

[00:03:05] Today's story, according to my research, is from the south. There are two variations that I found. One that said it's from Tennessee.

[00:03:18] So shout out to you know, Tennessee.

[00:03:20] And then there was another one that did not really have a state of origin or anything like that, but they knew that it was a southern story.

[00:03:29] So today's story called Rashida's Baby is all about the story of little A-John.

[00:03:40] So without further ado, the story of little A-John also known for today as Rashida's Baby. Enjoy.

[00:03:50] Badass kids! Want a story about it? Want to hear it? Well here you go!

[00:03:55] Good morning Rashida. It's been a while, hasn't it? Please have a seat.

[00:04:07] Now when I got your call to have an emergency appointment, I was a little concerned, but I'm glad you reached out.

[00:04:14] Please tell me what's going on.

[00:04:17] Thank you Dr. Hope and thank you for seeing me on such short notice.

[00:04:22] I've talked to everyone and I just don't know what to do.

[00:04:25] You see, you see and this may be silly but I think that my oldest child you know little A-John.

[00:04:35] Well I think he's the Antichrist.

[00:04:40] Oh okay Rashida well I must admit that's quite the claim.

[00:04:46] Well just relax and you know tell me all about it okay?

[00:04:49] Okay well, odd things been happening for a while now.

[00:04:55] Everything I tell little A-John not to do he just lies and do it anyway.

[00:05:00] Every time he does something bad happens. He's destructive and I know he knows what he's doing.

[00:05:07] He acts innocent at times and then out of nowhere just evil.

[00:05:13] Evil.

[00:05:15] For instance I told him don't step on frogs I tell him every single day but little A-John would say,

[00:05:24] I'm gonna do that anyway.

[00:05:27] Now the cow won't do nothing but moo and give milk that sour and the baby keep crying every day and every hour.

[00:05:35] I see.

[00:05:37] I told him on Tuesday don't sit in the chair back with it brings trouble to the fam.

[00:05:42] The little A-John said, I don't care about the rules the fam be damned.

[00:05:47] Then my cornbread burned and the milk didn't turn and the cow won't do nothing but moo and give milk that sour

[00:05:55] and the baby keep crying every day and every hour.

[00:05:57] I even told him don't climb trees on Sunday for it brings bad luck but this little agent of the devil

[00:06:09] he just laughed and said, I don't give a fuck.

[00:06:13] Oh my lord no he did girl.

[00:06:16] Yes he did doctor hope.

[00:06:19] Now nothing in my husband form will grow and the mule won't go.

[00:06:24] Little A-John laughs I swear he's the one he knows.

[00:06:29] And let's not forget that my cornbread burned and milk the butter wouldn't turn

[00:06:34] and the cow won't do nothing but moo and give milk that sour and the baby keep crying every day and every hour.

[00:06:43] I see.

[00:06:45] Well perhaps I'm not finished doc.

[00:06:48] Now I know that it's just a weird superstition but I told little A-John don't count your teeth it brings the family sickness

[00:06:58] but little A-John just said, 30, 31, 32.

[00:07:06] I got 32 silver of these bitches.

[00:07:09] Your son has 32 silver teeth?

[00:07:12] Yes I told you he's bad but that's not all and right after he did that the baby got the cough and my mama she just scoffs.

[00:07:22] Remember nothing in my husband's form will grow and the mule won't go and little A-John laughs I swear he's the one who knows

[00:07:30] and my cornbread burned and my mama's cornbread and the cow won't do nothing but moo and give milk that sour

[00:07:37] and the baby keeps crying every day and every hour.

[00:07:43] Oh well Rashida I'm sorry to hear this.

[00:07:47] You know we should just-

[00:07:48] I even told him don't sleep with your head at the foot of the bed for it brings the family money blues

[00:07:55] but he did it anyway and you know what he said.

[00:07:59] He said that I'm the dummy because he makes the rules.

[00:08:02] So the family went broke and now I'm about to have a stroke and the baby got the cough and my mama she just scoffs

[00:08:10] and remember nothing in my husband's form will grow and the mule won't go and little A-John laughs I swear he's the one who knows

[00:08:18] my cornbread is burning and the milk is cornbread and the cow won't do nothing but moo and give milk that sour

[00:08:25] and the baby keeps crying every day and every hour.

[00:08:29] Oh I see Rashida well thanks for sharing with me.

[00:08:41] I know this is kind of a president but let me ask you this bluntly

[00:08:50] have you ever tried whooping his ass?

[00:08:53] Of course not and why does everyone keep seeing that?

[00:08:58] We are different.

[00:08:59] My husband and I are breaking the cycle.

[00:09:03] We are going above and beyond to never lay our hands on our child.

[00:09:08] We will not hit them and discipline him in a loving and nurturing environment.

[00:09:13] We would never hit him despite with you, my mama, my friends, my husband friends

[00:09:19] and my husband's mom and my pastor says we will not do it okay?

[00:09:26] Okay.

[00:09:28] But doctor hope I'm so stressed out I don't even know what to do.

[00:09:32] I know an evil baby when I see one and I love him that's my child

[00:09:37] but this behavior will just not do with all our family troubles.

[00:09:42] I don't even know how I will afford this session with you.

[00:09:46] You can't huh?

[00:09:48] Oh well will you look at the time?

[00:09:51] I think our hour is up Rashida it's a shame we need to get to talk more.

[00:09:55] Okay.

[00:09:57] You reschedule when you get everything worked out but talk to my secretary on the way out okay?

[00:10:02] And believe me when I say your baby is not evil okay?

[00:10:05] Are you sure?

[00:10:07] Call me if you need something okay?

[00:10:09] Bye now.

[00:10:13] Now what am I gonna do now?

[00:10:16] No one will believe me.

[00:10:18] I know that baby is evil.

[00:10:21] I've talked to everyone.

[00:10:24] I believe you dear.

[00:10:25] Huh?

[00:10:27] Who said that?

[00:10:29] Behind you dear.

[00:10:31] Need your fortune told?

[00:10:33] On the house of course.

[00:10:35] I already know that you're broke.

[00:10:38] I don't need my palms read old lady.

[00:10:41] Oh nobody said anything about palm reading dear

[00:10:45] and that's too bad Rashida.

[00:10:47] I have an answer for that so-called evil baby of yours.

[00:10:53] How do you know?

[00:10:55] How do I know that your son's at home crying all alone on the bedroom floor cause he's hungry

[00:11:01] and the only way to feed him is to- oh wait.

[00:11:05] Oh sorry girl.

[00:11:07] Wrong woman.

[00:11:09] You have the evil Lucifer baby right?

[00:11:12] The one who borned your cornbread and whatnot.

[00:11:15] Yes I know.

[00:11:17] I know all.

[00:11:19] It seems that he does whatever you say just a little more

[00:11:22] but evil.

[00:11:24] But listen Rashida, if you follow my steps

[00:11:29] I'm sure you won't have any problem with him from now on

[00:11:33] and you won't even have to raise a single finger.

[00:11:39] Oh why?

[00:11:41] That sounds perfect.

[00:11:44] So listen tonight when you get back home

[00:11:48] and you tuck him into bed.

[00:11:50] Okay.

[00:11:52] Now little eight John, I've read you your bedtime story so you behave tonight okay?

[00:12:09] Now tonight's a special night so you make sure that whatever you do

[00:12:15] do not curse and moan for fear of raw head and bloody bones.

[00:12:20] Who's raw head and bloody bones?

[00:12:26] They're the monsters who kidnap bad little kids and take them away.

[00:12:31] Well good night.

[00:12:33] Good night.

[00:12:39] That's just mama trying to scare me.

[00:12:42] I don't care about no bloody bones.

[00:12:45] I don't care about no raw heads.

[00:12:48] As a matter of fact raw head.

[00:12:52] Bloody bones.

[00:12:54] All these all and all they can all kiss my and suck a fuck ass niggas.

[00:13:11] What the hell is that?

[00:13:13] Who's there?

[00:13:16] So you don't do what your parents say.

[00:13:22] You curse and moan and do things your way.

[00:13:26] I like your style, eight John.

[00:13:30] Come and go with bloody bones and me.

[00:13:33] Then we can rule the darkness.

[00:13:37] Not as two.

[00:13:39] Bust three.

[00:13:43] Nah, I'm good.

[00:13:47] Excuse me?

[00:13:49] Excuse me?

[00:13:52] Yo son you real polite for a demon.

[00:13:56] And besides I said I'm good homie.

[00:13:59] I run shit around here.

[00:14:01] This is a one man's game.

[00:14:03] So take you when you're part of the hell on somewhere.

[00:14:05] And besides what's there even in hell to do?

[00:14:10] There's no way I'm gonna go with bloody bones and you.

[00:14:13] Come here where you want.

[00:14:15] Come here where you need.

[00:14:17] Wait a minute, wait a minute.

[00:14:19] Y'all didn't say little nice ex was down there.

[00:14:21] I mean I guess I can run down there real quick to see what's popping you know you feel me?

[00:14:26] I see.

[00:14:30] You know what little eight John?

[00:14:33] I think I've changed my mind.

[00:14:36] Your invitation to come with us is declined.

[00:14:40] I think I'll just eat you instead.

[00:14:46] Now hold up, hold up.

[00:14:48] It's been bad knowing you little angel.

[00:14:51] Wait a minute.

[00:14:53] See you soon.

[00:14:55] Wait, wait, wait.

[00:15:28] And that is today's story.

[00:15:30] I hope you guys enjoyed it.

[00:15:32] It was just a quick one, just a quick one.

[00:15:34] Moving right alone though to the moral of the story as you can guess the moral of the story is get off of little Nas X's dick.

[00:15:45] Okay, leave this man alone.

[00:15:48] You cannot condemn someone to hell and then when they go you get mad because they're enjoying themselves.

[00:15:55] I don't understand.

[00:15:57] Stop being a bitch.

[00:15:58] All right.

[00:16:00] Also things to note all kids aren't bad.

[00:16:04] All kids aren't evil.

[00:16:06] Little John probably was a little eight John probably was but you know he's still a kid so give him a chance or you can listen to a stranger on the side of the street and potentially summon the southern version of the boogeyman and quickly let's just talk about that real quick because apparently.

[00:16:25] Bloody bones in raw head are notorious in the United States for one I have never heard of them before, but and they're also like notorious.

[00:16:36] In the south, which again I live in the south.

[00:16:40] Never heard of them.

[00:16:42] We've always referred to creatures that act like the boogeyman as the boogeyman and not as a bloody bones in raw head but apparently those are two.

[00:16:53] Creatures that people know about here so be out on the lookout for them and if you ever want to scare your kids.

[00:17:01] You can actually give the boogeyman a name and bloody bones in raw head definitely sounds like some horrible people to run into.

[00:17:08] So there's that and that's it.

[00:17:11] More about the story and that is it for today's episode.

[00:17:19] Thank you for checking out to twist a tell as always.

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[00:18:01] Have a great day.